We're All Trying to Skate Through Life

A look at one of the world's most prolific inventors.

Howdy! It’s Joey, back with more Fun Fact Friyay. Hope you’re wearing your elbow and knee pads for this fact.

Photo by Indira Tjokorda on Unsplash

The inventor of inline skates demonstrated them at a party while playing the violin…and then promptly crashed into a mirror.

If you ever want to invite me somewhere but don’t want me to actually show up, simply host the event at a roller skating rink.

I’ve never been able to perfect skating (or even reach a solid below average level) in any capacity, but roller skates and blades in particular are my undoing.

At least I can take some solace that John Joseph Merlin, the inventor of inline skates, similarly found them to be cumbersome.

Side fun fact: Did you know that inline skates are technically a type of roller skate, but just about everyone calls them rollerblades? This was after the brand Rollerblade, Inc. got popular in the 1980s. It’s a real Kleenex and Q-Tip situation!

As a Joseph myself who has a dog named Merlin, I am a fan of John Joseph Merlin by name alone. Like me, he appreciates a good clock and automaton, and created several throughout his life, most notably the Silver Swan with his business pal James Cox.

I also appreciate Merlin’s fondness for inventing instruments. He enhanced the harpsichord and created a barrel organ/harpsichord which played nineteen tunes. Perhaps this was one of them.

For the purposes of this fun fact, though, we’re looking at his invention from 1760. Merlin perfected his “skaites,” which had two wheels, and decided to debut them at a masquerade held by soprano and impresario Teresa Cowley.

To add to the theatrics, Merlin opted to play a violin while cruising around the party on his skates. The only problem: Once he started, he hadn’t really figured out a way to stop. (And really, does anyone know how to properly stop on roller skates without bumping into something?)

According to Thomas Busby, author of Concert Room and Orchestra Anecdotes, here’s how it all went down:

“One of his ingenious novelties was a pair of skaites contrived to run on wheels. Supplied with these and a violin, he mixed in the motley group of one of Mrs Cowleys' masquerades at Carlisle House; when not having provided the means of retarding his velocity, or commanding its direction, he impelled himself against a mirror of more than five hundred pounds value, dashed it to atoms, broke his instrument to pieces and wounded himself most severely.”

“Dashed it to atoms” is a fantastic way to say you broke something, and I encourage you to weave it into every day conversation.

Don’t worry about ol’ Johnny Joe, either—despite the snafu, he kept his innovative bones intact. He ended up creating several other inventions, including a self-propelled wheelchair, a pedal-operated revolving tea table, and a mechanical chariot with a rudimentary odometer.

In fact, most of his musical instrument improvements were also done after the skating bash. He was only in his mid-20s at the time and lived to be 67. That’s a lot of prime years for coming up with clever new things.

Enjoy a fun recreation of Merlin’s introduction of inline skates, courtesy of the BBC’s “Horrible Histories.”